becka

just this morning, i was complaining to Nick that i don't feel any much different from the day before with regards to the closure.

now. I DO. i feel indifferent.

detached is the freaking word!

i'm happy with myself now.

Taiwan will be such a blast! :D

each time someone tells me that he led me on, i refuse to think of it that way. no matter how many times Mag tried to tell me that he was the one who led me on. but okay, now i'm gonna accept that fact. the fact that every single thing happened whether i liked it or not. and i'm gonna look ahead, and not be bothered with what happened. i wanted to do a Just For Laughs entry, for every single thing he said, but i won't bother to do it now. i deleted every single text messages. i'm not going to look back and brood.

i want to cry. i need to cry.

why can't i cry???

why do i have such people around me?

it's disappointing and frustrating.

i wish to stay away from you and you.

Please don't talk to me ever again.

Super late nights. meetings that lasts longer than 6 hours. cabbing home in the wee hours. Low immune system. Grogginess. Headaches. dark eye rings. eye bags. high concentration level. high EQ. no time to study. minimal entertainment. Unhealthy lifestyle.

I gave the best years of my life.

but i'm super happy with my new blogskin! 

still can't figure out how to handle LJ. :P

I don’t know what you could have been through, but I guess ignorance is my bliss and consolation for now.

You shouldn’t be overseas now. But only change would have such an effect on me. Thank you friend, I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine! :) we’ll get through all this just fine! :)

Thank God for foresight. I sort of knew that 2008 will be a tough year for me. I've survived half a year already. i wonder what's gonna happen on my birthday. It feels like my birthday is Doomsday of some sort, like what happens during then would have a major impact on me. I don’t know, what if each year gets tougher? Then I can only be stronger! Fear not, cos God is with me! :)

Forever21 shopping spree! HAHA. still struggling with which dress to buy!

guess guess guess who am i gonna meet tomorrow!!! HEHEHEHE. 

i like surprises! :)

and i feel bribed by one of the professors cos he gave me nougats from Australia! HAHAHA. honestly, the people i deal with are those who are going overseas, and none of them ever thought of getting souveneir for me. :( but ok, i'm in good mood and i'm happy someone gave me nougats! HAHA.

Current Location:	wet market
Current Mood:	excited

bastard. yes, i'm taking it out on you.


trevor: hey
me: yup?
trevor: so hows things for u ?
me: ??
trevor: haha
trevor: any news from xxxx ?
trevor: haha
trevor: any new guy in your love life?
trevor: haha
me: wat news wld u like to hear?
me: eh
me: u're getting entertainment from my love life ah?
trevor: haha
trevor: yeah kinda bored
me: WAH LAO
trevor: haha
trevor: no la
me: get lost lah

the night was quite disappointing. i don't know if i should feel pissed. (well you see, happiness is still a choice.) seriously, what's with expectations? the more you expect, the more disappointing it can get.

i've been bingeing today. that's no good. mag says i've gotten the magilicious bug from her. uh oh.

gahhh. blah blah blah.

funny stuff. my bus stop eye candy actually lives in the same block as me! and i only got to know it after 5 years! madness! how dumb can i get??? grrrr.

gosh. i just remembered i had 2 funny dreams. one happened in office, i received pink roses, ferrero roche, and a card from a secret admirer who signed off as "J". i so wish something like that would happen and make my day in that stupid place. Trisha says i've watched too much Fated to Love You. HAHAHA. not enough leh, still got 3 more episodes to go! Another was a msn conversation, which i just couldn't bring myself to read what's up on the screen (to read or ignore). hur hur.

I’m gona take just 5mins to blog.

HAHA. So I’m back in office today. Hur hur. Didn’t go to work yesterday, even though I really wanted to. HAHA. Work is so gonna stress me out. My jobscope is going to increase soon due to replacement of new boss and re-shuffling of job-scopes. But I know it will all be good. She wants me to take up more leadership, considering that my post is higher above the rest. HAHA. But it’s such an irony seriously. The youngest actually has higher rank than the rest. They’re so much more senior in terms of experience and stuffs like that. They know this place so well, if there’s a shuffle in any departments, they’ll gossip and blah blah. Hur hur. Stress ah stress. I wonder how shrewd am I gonna be by the end of this year. HAHA.

Oh ya, so I didn’t go work yesterday, woke up at 12 still feeling groggy. Gah. Then my mum said she wants to teach me how to make beef stew, so I did! YAY! It’s damn easy lah. I can’t wait to cook it again. Yummy! My dad was the first to try and he said nice (but then again, everytime we cook for him, he always says it’s nice!). Did lots of housework and stuff, like washing, hanging, folding clothes, clearing the mess that the painter created, packing up the room. It made me feel good! HAHA. Did all that partially cos I was in the mood to, if I don’t have mood, I die also won’t touch. HAHA. Left house at 5 plus and headed for Mag’s house! She also said my beef stew’s nice! HAHA. Cos I’m the one cooking! :) spent the entire night watching tv at mag’s house. So funny! “So you think you can dance”, Human Spirit, and the channel 8 drama on the beach ball babes. HAHA.

And on the way home, something funny happened! The bus 109 stopped at the traffic light, and I walked past it, then I saw a guy who looked kinda familiar. Guess who! Gein Kang! HAHAHA. the funny thing was, he saw me too, stared at me for some time, before we waved at each other. So funny!

I have lots of stuff getting to me, vying for my attention, but if you still haven’t realize, some in particular are so not worth my attention.  

now i can be emo together with my best friend Mag. i love Mag. cos we can be emo together. HAHAHA.

my emo repellant is about to be out in the seas. 

and i'm irritating now, cos i'm being irritated. lack of virtue.

Current Mood:	pissed off
Current Music:	Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade

I’m pissed with the people in GO. Like WTH. One simple issue can say SO MANY TIMES. n e issue is about me having to go for early lunch today so that there’ll be someone to look after the GO cos the rest are going for a talk during lunch hour. MUST SAY SO MANY TIMES MEH?! Say then ask, ask then say again. Wah lao. Want to tell grandmother story go home and tell lah. Oh sorry, forgot u’re single, got no offsprings to tell your kids to. But please, I’m not your grandchild.

Then another one. Wah lao. You think I so bloody free to help you ah. You so enthu about it, you go do it yourself lah. Think I got so much time ah.

AHHHH!!! My birthday is gonna fall on Deepavali. I so DO NOT like that.

My left knee is starting to ache again. I’ve been walking with a limp this morning. I’ve no idea why. I didn’t go running last night! I think it’s the stress that is causing the pain. ARGH! My face is really cui. SIGH. HOW SIA. Complain complain complain. SIGH.

I really shouldn’t have said what I said. Now I know how she must have felt. I’m so sorry if I caused you any trouble. I feel so inconsiderate and stupid now. Great job with spilling the beans becka! Hur hur.  Things will turn out fine. Stop stressing yourself out. Stop stressing yourself out!

I typed all that before lunch. But now, (at 1.39pm.) it’s unbelievable! One moment I was really down. Now I’m really excited! Can’t wait to get back home! :D The key to my happiness now is lying on my shelf. :) ho ho ho. You can never guess.

Gah… what a roller coaster ride! Phew. HAHAHA. but shit. i feel like crying now.

i really envy you, that you have someone that cares for you like this.

Don't pretend you know everything.

It's better than someone pretending they don't. Acting as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. If it is painful, just shout it out! If you want to cry, just let it out! Stop acting cool, you freaking idiot!

becka the drama mama. Finished another drama – Japanese version of Hana Kimi. :P HAHAHA. the next jap drama that I’ll be watching is Absolute Boyfriend, but I’ll wait till all the episodes are up. HAHA.

There’s gonna be an appreciation lunch next week. I think it’ll most likely be held at the Chinese restaurant. HAHA. Great. Good food to makan! But I still don’t like the people here. They are so kpo and naggy. Hur hur. ARGHHH.

I realize that there’s no such thing as “I don’t know why I do it this way.” There’s always a reason, no matter what.

So I’m still very thankful. :) weird i know but you have no idea how thankful I am. HAHA. :)

www.moviequotes.com --> check it out man! great digs.

hot date can serenade me! HAHA. i wish la. 

dream on becka. HAHAHA.